Archives: June 2005
yes.. another quick update..
28 Jun, 2005 | 3:18 pm | Filed under: Daily Jewels
Quote: The shortest distance between two points is under construction
I am feeling better! Yes.. I think I’ve overworked myself in the past week that I just can’t get enough sleep now.. it’s crazy, I wake up, run to you know where, grab something to eat or drink, go back to bed.. now ain’t that beautiful! Living a lazy life for a couple of days.. =) well deserved I think..
I have always admired people who had a set of objectives to achieve in life instead of living it one day at a time doing nothing of importance. I guess being surrounded by high achievers will definitely convert you to being one of them if you are not. I mean it’s contagious. And what a better time to catch on things and accomplish the unfinished?
Things I want to do this summer:
•Lose weight after delivery
•Enroll for MBA at Zayed University
•Continue learning French
•Prepare for my CFA examination in December
•Invest my savings
Now that’s a short term plan for the coming 3 months. I doubt I’ll have the time to do all this but at least I will try..
There was another great rerun of the Oprah Show yesterday. It was a rerun of the World’s Biggest Baby Shower premiered on October 11, 2004. A bit outdated but still good. I’ve been receiving sms’s from all my friends asking me to watch. They had a baby on the set- live! I just cried!.. I can’t imagine how beautiful the feeling would be holding your baby for the first time after a long wait.
So I’ve been shopping for more items for the baby and this time I was doing it online from Blooming Marvellous:
•Newborn Bathing Pad
•I Love my Daddy Playsuit
•Backseat Mirror
•Newborn Swaddle
Well that’s the list for now! It’s ridiculous how I can’t stop shopping.. my plastic money is burnt! But it’s all worth it for my little one..
I know my updates have been kinda short lately.. but you understand how hard it is for me right now.. =)
I can’t do this all on my own, no I know.. I’m no superman..
[8] diamonds (117 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Statistical Information
25 Jun, 2005 | 9:25 pm | Filed under: Pregnancy
Quote: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
What’s the worse thing that could happen to a pregnant woman who stays home on a very hot day? the air conditioning system breaks down!
I can’t even explain how hot it was till 3 hours ago when the maintenance came at last! I was going berserk. It’s like I was having a sauna. Oh well things are better now and I can update at last.
I’ve been really tired in the past couple of days. All I wanted is to sleep. Any kind of activity is just too much for my body to handle. Work is still crazy- by the time I get home I am just restless. I am trying to do things in the afternoon instead of sleeping but I’ve just got nothing to do. I am so bored. I am not allowed to walk for more than 15 mins a day as per the doctor’s advice. Movies are just boring. Shopping I’m already done with. I’m reading but I’m still bored by the 20th page. My girlfriends say it’s normal cuz I am approaching my due date. Time is just so slow! Unbelievably slow.
Anyways I was reviewing some of my CFA stuff and I got the statistics book. Made me think of statistics of my pregnancy. So here goes some statistics and info:
Purely Pregnancy
Number of home pregnancy tests I took cuz I was in disbelief: 3 tests in 20 mins- I just didn’t believe it. I used up the whole kit.
Number of morning sickness episodes: endless count!
Number of kilos gained till today: Almost 7 kilos- I know too little but I’ve been watching my food plus the morning sickness but the baby is fine.
Number of times I’ve been admitted to the hospital: 4 times (each for a week at least and the most was for 2 months)
Number of doctors seen: 5 doctors =)
Number of sonograms (ultrasounds) that I’ve had: 26 session
Number of pimples I’ve got from pregnancy:: 29 eek!
Number of stretch marks: 9 ;) (they say it’ll show better after delivery!)
Nutrition
Number of dishes per day: One! when I like something then I like it for the whole day- I might even extend it to a week.
Types of Food: 75% sweet- 25% salty
Fave Drink: Water- Milk and 7up
Fave Food: Cerelac
Beauty
Number of Manicure and Pedicure sessions: 28
Number of massages I’ve had: 16 times (mostly scalp and shoulders massages- they just make me feel so good)
Number of facials: 2
Art and Literature
Number of books read: about 6
Number of magazines bought: 39
Number of poems written: 5
Number of paintings completed: 8
Number of sketches: 14
Number of photographs: lost count! But many..
Number of movies watched: 71 till today
Emotional
Number of times I cried: 63
Number of times I cried for a reason: 11
Number of hugs and kisses received- online and offline: endless *sigh*
Number of times I screamed:: twice!
Number of times I laughed: endless =)
Well that’s all I could think about and get hold of right now..
thank you for your emails and comments- you’ll never know how grateful I am for having you in my life..
my fave perfume!
Canon 20D- Preparing for the hospital
my current read
Last shopping item
[22] diamonds (191 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Hope
21 Jun, 2005 | 1:59 am | Filed under: Pregnancy
Quote: Hope is the best part of our riches
I’ve been really busy in the past couple of days. I’m rushing to get things done just in time. Work has been crazy. It’s a time for changes right now, and I am trying my best to keep up with the work load. I was supposed to start my leave next week but with the way things are going I don’t think I will. There is so much to do and no one there to do it. everyone is going for their summer holidays and I am stuck here! Not complaining but stating a fact.
Well I guess I’ll wait till labour strikes. Well it might be better for me- I’ll be using my annual leave with the baby instead of being at home right now. it’s just with the date coming closer and closer I’m anxious, more weary and tired most of the time. The only way I am keeping up is by having shots of caffeine. I hate doing it- cuz I am drinking anything with caffeine I swear I can feel the baby’s heartbeats from my belly- and it just scares me. I need to cut down on my intake. The doctor says I am allowed one cup of coffee or tea a day. my weakness is tea with milk. My father-in-law keeps telling me that caffeine can make your baby moody when they’re out in the real world. I am not sure how true that is. Well I am trying. I haven’t had tea in my first trimester or the second. Just started now.
Labour is all I am thinking about right now. It is somehow scary! I mean I’ve been watching videos on Baby Center trying to prepare myself for it. I guess I’ll never be prepared.
I envy those who find pregnancy easy. Some of my friends just go through pregnancy without feeling a thing. Lucky them.
To me it’s been hard from the beginning. Since day one! The morning sickness was too much for me to handle. It just started wearing off a couple of months ago. I still do get sick sometimes but it’s bearable. The happiest day was when I found out I was carrying twins- I felt extra special, but I guess I was kind of careless cuz I used to spend endless hours in the office- been running like crazy from one place to another forgetting the fact that I was pregnant- acting like I was a normal person.
It hit me all of the sudden when I was on my 18th week (5 months). I woke up one morning feeling sick, so I thought it was the daily morning sickness episode that I usually have. The vomiting continued for 15 minutes which wasn’t the norm. All of the sudden I discovered I was covered in blood. I was so scared- terrified like I haven’t ever been before in my whole life. There was no one home I crawled to reach for the phone and called my mom screaming for help. No answer. I was dialing different numbers till I got to someone who got hold of my mom. She rushed to pick me up and took me to the hospital. I was at the emergency at Corniche Hospital. I didn’t have a file there cuz I used to follow up in a private clinic. They wouldn’t take me in cuz I didn’t have a file! I begged her to do something but the receptionist wouldn't even bother.
I called up Perla who called up someone from the VIP section of the hospital to let me in. That took about an hour! I felt paralyzed trying to hold my tears in. They later took me in- and did the ultrasound. The doctor said there is blood everywhere in the womb and we should operate you right away. I asked about my babies- and they said one is already dead and the other should be aborted cuz his chances of survival are minimal! I’ve never felt this way in my life. Not even when my uncle died. It was just too painful for me to handle. I wanted to die right there and then. I refused to operate and started screaming like a hysterical women. I asked to go to the private clinic where I usually do my checkups. They refused to release me until later when I signed a waiver disclaiming the hospital of any responsibilities.
I went to the private clinic and the doctor there said the same thing. That I needed to abort. I just couldn’t take it. I asked her to try anything before they advised abortion. I felt that they should at least do something for the other baby. She told me it’ll just be harder for me to accept later. I begged and begged till she agreed.
I remember being surrounded by family and friends for 3 continuous days. Till the doctor announced that the baby’s chances of survival have increased but I should remain under supervision for at least a month- which I gladly approved to. With God's help things just got better and better.
Now at week 35- looking back at what took place I thank God for everything that took place. God takes things from us but gives us more. It’s his way of testing our faith. I remember being depressed for days but I also remember having all these beautiful people around me praying for me and the baby. It’s time like this when you know you’re special. I am lucky to be surrounded by angels.
If you’re passing by hard and unbearable time, remember Allah is still there. Pray and plead. He always listens. I’ve been so weak and I thought I wouldn’t survive this loss but I did. Whatever happens, happens to make us better people. When a door shuts in our faces, another one opens- you just need to learn how to find it.
Right this moment I am in a state of bliss. Thank you all for your beautiful thoughts and prayers. I wish I could hug you all in person.
still shopping!
i like block 13 better!
testing communications.. ET call home..
for all you beautiful people
[28] diamonds (261 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
not an over achiever.. but a high achiever..
19 Jun, 2005 | 2:14 am | Filed under: Pregnancy
Quote: Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.
It’s days like this when I got to bed with a big smile on my face. I’ve had a fruitful day. a beautiful one too. I like being busy- and achieving. I’ve completed a couple of milestones that I’ve set for myself. I am totally satisfied. Thank God.
I called up this person who played a big part in helping me complete one of the hardest things today. He has been there for me for years- I’ve always been grateful and thankful for his presence in my life. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve said it, it just doesn’t seem enough. My voice just croaked- muttered when he answered. All of the sudden, I just didn’t know what to say. I was nervous- although he’s been more than a father to me. i said “thank you for everything” followed by a big gulp- I knew he was smiling on the other side. He simply said “you deserve this and more”. I was about to cry. What he said was more than enough to lighten up the rest of my day.
Thank you Allah for everything. I am truly grateful.
So anyways, remember when I got the tan and thought it was terrible? Oh well, I guess I’m a person who tend to be stubborn and try things over and over again! I had another tan this weekend when I went to my friend’s farm. Today, everyone said I looked tired (that’s their nice way of saying tanning doesn’t suit you uaeyah!).
I’m feeling much better now. I’ve been having nightmares for the past couple of weeks but they seem to be subsiding now. The thing is, if I dreamt of a person I know doing something really bad to my baby in the dream, I’d just be so scared when they’re around me when I am awake. I know, weird! I mean I’ve been avoiding this person for so long right now- and they just popped in front of me- and I was about to suffocate! I am being unrealistic I know, I just can’t help it.
Something I read that’s freaking me out: pregnant women should be sleeping on their left side (I’m used to sleeping on my belly) and I’m finding really hard. I do try. The freaky part is, you can kill the baby if you sleep on your back! I mean how can you control it. After reading that, I become hysterical whenever I wake up in the middle of the night lying on my back- you can imagine it. God I can be a drama queen.
My cousin passed by my place today. She had a look at the baby’s bag that I’ve packed for the hospital. She thought it looked a little too full. She asked me to show her what I’ve packed.
please mothers don’t laugh..
anyways, I’ve read in all my pregnancy books that the baby changes nappies 10 times a day. Calculating it right, if I was to stay in the hospital for 3 days it means I need 30 changing clothes- I thought they changed clothes along with their nappies. Well she had a good laugh- and I was totally embarrassed. I hate being wrong! Seriously. I try my best to figure things out on my own but there are things you just need to ask people with experience about.
Well the sad part is, I had to actually sit and choose 6 items out of 30. I am still doing it. It’s very hard. I love all the clothes I got. Well it doesn’t really matter since the baby will be swaddled most of the time.
God there are so many things to get done in so little time. I need to get my to do list written down.
To all you aunts and uncles out there, if you think I should be doing something, or if you’ve got suggestions please let me know. I am sure I didn’t cover everything yet. =)
melon salad
Aunt uaeyah! stop taking pics of me pweeeez!
when time stands still for a second
[17] diamonds (237 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Serenity
16 Jun, 2005 | 1:18 am | Filed under: Inspirational
Quote: Time stands still for a moment- that's a happy thought!
In the past couple of days nothing seemed “serene”. Things just went wrong- well not for me personally but for people around me. I think I’ve got this problem of getting too involved with people. Too involved that it effects me deeply. I really don’t mind it, except that now it’s draining me out of my energy. I’ve been distressed for a couple of days now. Too many things running in my head.
There are many things that can go wrong with our lives leading us to grumpy and bumpy paths but one thing can always help- laughter. It’s a medication!
We all need it- it helps in the healing process. A simple movement from your facial muscles can create wonders- from a simple twitch to a hilarious laugh.
I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about things, evaluating them, and re-evaluating again. I came to think that I needed something so much right now. Inner peace.
The time is now. Time is not slow, nor peaceful, but full of activity. It’s summer! everything around us reminds us of how playful this time should be. Flipping the pages of my fave magazine, looking at the ads in the street, or visiting my fave department store.
It’s a blessing that I won’t be able to travel this summer- it’s a great chance to take this time out to find my serenity. It’s my time to clear things up in preparation for the beautiful upcoming. I am to clear from all clouds and to receive the beautiful sun rays. I’ve got this feeling of relief just thinking about it.
Serenity is something that you find. You just need to look hard. Believe that you can be serene and you will. Believe that you deserve it. It’s all about how you feel within.
There are always lessons to be learnt from every situation. Take the time to figure it out.
Weed out those who cause conflict in your life. If someone is creating negative thoughts constantly, try to block them. They’re not doing you any good.
Take time out to write your thoughts down. Start a journal. It helps! Write the happy thoughts that came to mind and refer to them whenever you’re feeling down.
Remember, be thankful for everyday. Each day is a blessing. Start it with a smile.
News Bits:
Raju was found with an accomplice. They are being charged. I am hopeful. I believe that God will make things better for everyone. It just takes time and patience.
Breathtaking is online again with a new layout.
I’ve been having problems with my host again! Bear with me. This is just a quick entry. I will be back soon. =) very soon..
A friend already started shopping for my baby =)
ipod- 30 gb baby!
total solution to boredom- always handy waiting at the corniche hospital
maybe a cliché but red roses are so romantic...
something about the greens makes me feel better
[13] diamonds (132 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Children... beware!
13 Jun, 2005 | 2:01 am | Filed under: Life
Quote: Children reinvent your world for you
The girls in the neighborhood saw old Raju standing in front of the house. They knew the old person well. He sells glow in the dark bracelets and balloons along with other type of games. They’ve seen him around the neighborhood so many times and they’ve seen their maids pull strings of conversation back and forth with him.
The girls Shoug 6, Asma 6, and Reem 5 years old were fascinated by the games that they’ve always seen carry and this time he offered to give them some samples of the games to play at home. He gave them a couple of glow in the dark bracelets. This went on for the following days- him providing them with the latest games.
On Saturday, he came in the morning as usual and since the girls had no school they were awaiting his arrival. He came with his usual bright white smile and said he had brought some kites but they had to go with him to get it from his place which was a block away from where they stayed. He claimed he wasn’t able to carry all the kites for the three of them so they had to tag along- and they did without informing anyone.
There was chaos in the neighborhood as the mothers of the girls by late in the afternoon realized the girls weren’t there. It was almost 1 pm. Last time they saw the girls was at about 11 am. The police were contacted- and to start an investigation it took them about 3 hours!
By 4 pm, the girls came back with filthy clothes and the little one Reem was covered in tears being dragged by the other two. Shoug was quiet, and Asma seemed so breathless and once saw her mom just fell in her arms and cried hysterically.
First thing the mothers did was carry their beloved girls in their arms. The police started flooding the girls with questions but they just didn’t want to talk. It was another hour before they gathered them all together and took them to the nearest hospital for diagnosis. They were violated. All of them!
Everyone was horrified to hear the news. The girls couldn’t remember where they were and every time they remembered the event they cried and looked at each other. Shoug said he said it was a game and if we talk about it then he’ll do something bad. There wasn’t a child specialist in place to actually try to communicate with the kids- the police just couldn’t connect.
Anyways, they started a search for Raju who disappeared like thin air. There was no sign of him since Saturday evening. He wasn’t even registered in the ministry of Labour or in Immigration! No one ever questioned his legality.
The police later found the place where it all took place. It was one of the houses under construction- and the neighborhood was full of them- since there was construction all over the place. You can imagine the type of cheap labor that existed there.
This incident is so real. The names are changed. It took place in my neighborhood! One of the mother’s told me the story seeking my help in getting someone in a high position involved because she felt the police weren’t doing a great job at it.
I find this terrible. The whole thing. I mean I wouldn’t believe that such thing would take place here in our own country, let alone to a neighbor next door.
There wasn’t anything put in the official paper. At least a warning for people to be careful! To watch out for their kids. I don’t understand how parents allow kids out without adult supervision! I just don’t get it.
I mean seriously, just today, a day after everything happened I still saw some kids running around without adults.
I am traumatized!
Please people watch out for your little ones. Your siblings, and children! It only takes seconds to abuse them and take away their innocence. Spread awareness among your friends and family. This isn’t a joke. I feel like crying.
[18] diamonds (182 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
The past is over
11 Jun, 2005 | 2:10 am | Filed under: Inspirational
Quote: Life is beautiful!
I’ve been trying different things lately to find happiness and to make change in my life. Believe me there is so much happiness out there if you know where to look.
I’ve found a gratifying way to approach life. An enlightening and revealing method to work through your days. You can try it out for day and see how it works for you. I am going to try it out for a month at least to give it a chance.
This was all inspired by a saying “live life like you are going to die tomorrow, and like you are going to live forever” (it’s an Arabic saying and I am not sure if I did it justice in translation)
It’s a morbid thought you say? It’s not really just think about it.
Imagine today, just right from this moment, is the last day of your life- that after you head to bed tonight you will never wake up. Relax and make that thought marinate in your head for a bit. Forget about what’ll take place tomorrow and the aftermath of death. Focus on now. Think of people around you who mean so much to you and evaluate your relationship with them. Think of the present moment. The past is a memory.
Realize how only important things flow in your mind. Suddenly, you become grateful for the moment you are living.
So what came to my mind when I did that?
I had a big smile on my face and thought of sunshine how beautiful its rays are (I who always complained of its heat), thought of my family (how lucky I am to have them), thought of my friends (how grateful I am to be blessed), thought of my achievements (stopped there- I always thought I achieved so much in life, but all that came to mind that I’ve done so little).
Life is full of challenges that assist us in growing, maturing, and developing. To move from yesterday to tomorrow we need to cross the bridge of today. Most of the challenges that we face are caused by decisions we made yesterday and these decisions will usually dictate what happens tomorrow.
Think of yourself as immortal being. Think of all the exciting things you would want to achieve. God this is so exciting! Don’t wallow on what went wrong yesterday but what do you want to happen to you today and tomorrow.
My thoughts were interrupted by a phone call. I answered and my friend just said “what are you so happy about?” – much to my surprise (although I am a happy person) my friend noticed I was even happier just through the phone. I am happy because I am.
I know my thoughts are scattered all over the place- that’s excitement! So forgive me for this entry.
Let’s make a pact- make up a list of things that you want to accomplish today, in a week, in a month, etc and let’s work on making it happen.
My first item is to tell those who mean the world to me that I love them with all my heart.
Kitty (endless thoughts)
All my efriends (and yes that includes you!) thank you for the encouragement and support. Every comment and thought makes me a happier person. You’re not taken for granted. Believe me I smile with every diamond you put in my sack.
Devil Cat thank you for the priceless advice on motherhood. *hugs*
AD Rose thank you for your email.
I am a bit distressed nowadays. I am finding really hard to do things. I’m usually breathless and I hate it. I had a trauma today cuz the baby didn’t move for hours (guess it’s normal) but I freaked out. Just when I was about to pack my things and go see the doc he kicked! – about time!
I should be heading to bed now. Good night everyone (seeking some quality time with my belly)
Baby hospital bag is ready to go!
I'm becoming an extreme enemy with the scale
[15] diamonds (160 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Passing Judgments
07 Jun, 2005 | 4:38 am | Filed under: Inspirational
Quote: We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
What is a judgment?
A judgment is passing a thought of good or bad on people, events, activities or experiences.
How many times did we label people from different ethnicity with certain descriptions? Like: Arabs are materialistic, Iraqis are violent, Muslims are terrorists, black Americans are criminals, blondes are ditzy and stupid, over sized people have no personalities, etc.
How many times have you passed judgments on others and on yourself? Have you have inner thoughts and beliefs that sound like this: I am not worthy, I am stupid, I can’t never get things done correctly, I deserve whatever happens to me, I am useless.. etc.
I know I’ve done it so many times before. Over and over again. Every time I see someone, something, or go somewhere that is of my dislike, I rush to the chance of making some kind of smart comment- a judgment. I also so many times judged myself for events that have taken place in my life.
I’ve made many mistakes in my life. Some I do regret but at the same time, these mistakes taught me valuable lessons about life and about myself. I’ve evolved ever since to the person I am today. When I was in that state of mind where I realized all the mistakes I’ve made, my self esteem went down the drain. Everything just darkened in my life. I felt worthless. I just had negative thoughts floating around me all the time.
But
Somehow, I managed to pick up all the broken pieces.
Somehow, I learnt that life is worth living.
Somehow, I saw the light!
We should learn to forgive ourselves for mistakes that we make and believe in the powers within us. We should stop acting like we were angels that fell from the sky. We are not! We are all human and we all make mistakes. It’s essential that you realize that you’ve made a mistake and admit it. Admitting it is the first step to inner peace. It doesn’t matter what others think. It’s between you and God. He knows what goes inside you and how true you are to yourself. People don’t.
How to avoid being judged? You can’t to be quite honest. I can’t stop someone from thinking what they’re thinking. Acceptance is the answer. Accept the fact that you can’t make everyone happy. Everyone has the right to show how they feel, express their thoughts, and let others know of them- and for you, you have the right to be proud of yourself. Set your own standards, don’t work on those of others.
Only God knows what’s in our hearts. He is our only judge. Who are we to take his place and judge others? Why do we mark others by saying that they are destined for hell? You never know! That person might turn to faith at the last minute and be sentenced to heaven.
If you see something you don’t like:
In yourself: try to change it. Remember things take time. You have to learn how to crawl before you walk, to walk before you run. The fact that you thrive to making things better is a great sign.
In others: advice! Advice is a very effective method if you use it right. Don’t impose your thoughts but sell them. State out the benefits and believe me, whoever your advising will listen.
Being judgmental is a vicious cycle. Let’s try to avoid it. When we judge others, we do the same about ourselves without realizing it.
Keep in mind, we are not perfect but we should strive to be. Be compassionate with yourself, and that will reflect on others. Use your knowledge to your advantage. Learn to forgive yourself and others for mistakes that take place. God is a forgiver so why defy it?
For geeks (like moi)- an intersting read: Promoting Corporate Blog Culture
Got my new psp games- Yey!
[18] diamonds (332 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Nanny Hunt
05 Jun, 2005 | 12:53 am | Filed under: Life
Quote: There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.
With my due date approaching, my preparation for the big event are taking place right now. I’ve already done most of the shopping needed for the arrival of his highness. One thing though that I’ve been working on today was shopping for a nanny! The thing is I’ve got a million reason to get one and a zillion other to keep me from doing it. I’ve been contacting every listing on Waseet and I’ve received a couple of decent applications but… I am still not sure I want to have the baby under the custody of someone other than family.
Why am I jumping ahead of things? I am not. I just need things settled before I can go back to work. I’m having a 3-4 months worth of maternity leave. I need to have someone I can depend on to take care of the baby when I am away for 8 hours (more if you calculate the time I’ll be spending on the road from and to the house).
I’ve been brought up by two nannies myself ( from Sri Lanka and the Philippines). My mom got back to work 4 months after I was born. The nannies took care of me and my brothers for quite a long time. They were part of the family. Plus my aunt was living with us at the same house so she used to dictate to the nannies what was to be done and she was my parent’s watch guard.
I’ve had a great childhood along their side. I did miss my mother’s presence but I used to see her after school which made up for it.
So why am I hesitant? Well because I’ve been hearing all these terrible nanny stories from my friends. Allow me to share one with you too..
Case X:
My friend got back to work from her maternity leave 2 months after giving birth. She had a very hectic schedule and she used to take her work home. She noticed that her baby has been crying for a couple of days and tried different methods to calm the baby down but in vein…
On the third day she decided to take the baby to the hospital for a checkup after the tummy got solid as a rock. Pediatric Doc did all kinds of tests and discovered that the baby is constipated and wasn’t able to get rid of stool for 3 days. There were traces of super glue on the baby’s bottom.
The Verdict:
Nanny found guilty and was sentenced to 2 months in a local jail- then to be flown out of the country with no chance of return.
My verdict:
I blame my friend. I mean I understand that the nanny did all this for whatever reason she had in her sick mind- but couldn’t she be a mother when she got back home. Why didn’t she just check on the baby and change her nappies? Ok I know I don’t know how hard or easy it’s going to be like but I know for sure that I won’t be depending on the nanny for everything.
Parents involvement in a child’s life is critical. In every stage of their upbringing. I realize it’s going to be a challenge but that’s something that I need to work on.
The stories are endless. I don’t want to bore you to death by reciting them all.
One thing I want to bring up are problems brought to us by nannies:
I think there are problems associated to being brought up by a nanny and I am talking out of my own experience.
• The child will be deprived from the direct love of the mother. The mom will be depending mostly on the nanny to get things done for the child, therefore creating this laziness on actually getting things done herself.
• The child’s language skills are weaker than average (believe me I’ve been there!) it’s true that you catch up later on but I remember using words from Urdu, Tagalog, Arabic, and English in one sentence.
• The role of the mother is eliminated by the presence of the nanny. The child will count on the nanny more than the mother for doing almost everything. Thus, creating a gap between the child and the mother.
• The nanny will unintentionally be using methods that she’s learned from her own environment. Her ways are of her country which might be the total contrary of the upbringing of the UAE or the country the child is from.
• Another one (I read this from an article about childhood): children who are brought up away from their mothers tend to have more psychological problems. The are less confident and are agitated more frequently. Their IQ is less than this of children brought up with the close attachment of a mother figure.
Last thought: a nanny isn’t a replacement for a mother. She is merely a helper. Mothers should take full responsibility for brining up their kids in every single aspect of their lives.
[25] diamonds (246 opened the sack) [+] Jewel Link
Monogamous Relationships...
02 Jun, 2005 | 2:52 am | Filed under: Life
Quote: Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles.
“I feel that my world has crumbled. He was the best person I’ve ever met. I trusted him with everything. My heart is now shattered. I can’t believe it. “
Her words broke my heart as her tears pour all over her. They’ve been married for 13 years and were living a blissful life (or so we all thought).
They got married after being in love for a very long time. They have beautiful children and share a beautiful life together. He travels away for awhile, they still hang tough and with each day that passes by they seem to be drifting apart. She tries her best to mend the relationship and she thinks things are getting better. He came back one day and being the good wife, she pampered him, made his favourite dishes, and prepared his bath. She then emptied his pocket to find a Hilton Hotel room key with the room number on it. She said nothing. He told her that he had things to do cuz he just got back (her understanding that he just got back from a foreign country)- so he leaves and something inside feels wrong. She went to hotel to find his car parked there. She waited for 2 hours and he finally came down with another woman! Time just stood still right there and then. The love of her life is holding hands with another women and canoodling in public. She follows him around the city for another 4 hours. She witnesses his infidelity in disbelief. When she couldn’t take it anymore- she gets out of the car- stands in front of him, cries so hard and collapses.
Next thing she remembers is finding herself in her parent’s house with her children, heart broken, shattered, lost, confused and alone. She’s thinking of getting a divorce after several failed trials of winning him back.
This is one of many stories that I hear from my married friends, or family members. It’s devastating. I am not sure if it’s a trend that’s taking place in the UAE or all over the world, but it’s really hard to actually find a happy satisfied couple. I wonder why?
Why can’t couples just be happy with each other? Why is it that women are naturally monogamous? Why are we satisfied and even if we’re not we’ll try and work on a relationship rather than cheat?
Why is it that men find a wife and then head off and cheat on them the following day? why is it when they’re not satisfied they’ll just find someone other to have fun with instead of spending that time working on their problems with the wifey? Why do men love variety and change? Why do they find solace in another women’s arms?
I’ve asked all these questions with no clear answers. Some say it’s our male chromosomes that control that. It’s a guy’s thing.
I don’t believe it is. I mean are men stripped of all morals?
How would they feel if their wives did that?
There are many problems that occur with infidelity other than losing respect and trust. One that comes to mind right now are diseases- I’ve got three of my friends who are struggling with STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) right now and some are with no cure. They’re victims of their spouse’s selfishness. Another problem is a financial one- there are many commitments that take place with having a fling or an affair. That money that he wasted in deceit could be invested elsewhere for his family. The time invested in having an affair could be put into creating a better marriage.
What is a solution to all of this? Many of my friends have giving their husbands second, third and forth chances but in vein. Divorce is always a un-favoured solution especially when there are kids involved.
I spoke to my father about all of this and he said- ignoring the spouse will create a miracle. Men are egotistical species, when they feel that they’ve lost the attention they once had, it drives them nuts. I asked in protest but why go through all this! Why can’t things just be normal? Why do we have to play games and manipulate each others feeling to live a happy life?
His answer “that’s the way it is”.
I say: pray for your loved ones. Allah will always listen if you pray from your heart. Don’t lose hope right away and don't blame yourself. Be strong. It isn’t your fault. Don’t let this get into you. Don’t lost faith in yourself, for you are a beautiful person in the eyes of Allah. They say Allah often tortures those who are strong in faith to test them. Consider this a test and work hard on trying to pass it. Whether you like the results or not. Almighty knows what’s best for you. Smile dearest. It’ll pass Insha’Allah.
